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DeadJournal for Drucilla.
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Ugh. I hate it when I lose everything I'd written already in my DJ. Okay. Well, mostly finished and uploaded Yours Truly anyway. For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, it's a Babylon 5 story involving Jack the Ripper. Yes, Jack the Ripper showed up on B5. For more information go here since I'm too lazy to type it all up again. Meh. I feel so happy. I'm a good beta reader! It's been so long since I've beta-read for anyone but ![[info]](http://piktures.deadjournal.com/userinfo.gif){kind=small} cruelest_month that I'd almost forgotten what it was like. I suppose you can't really forget, but still.. I'd worried. But it was such a good fic... written by the wonderful almightyhat*sigh* Diri's acting up again. I'm not sure what she thinks she's doing, but she's checkmating herself just when she seems to have gotten things all right, if not completely perfect. I still have no idea why she does this constantly. Is it some hormonal problem, some deep-seated psychological issue maybe a fear of things going too right? Or is she just afraid to be happy and accept and not fall back into old, self-destructive patterns? I know she knows these behaviors are self-destructive... bleh. What in the name of Mephistopheles' right ball is going on with the LJ icons? La. What else is going on? Not much. April was picked up today, after a huge fiasco with her ride. I will never understand those girls if I live to be a thousand. But... now the house feels very empty. And very quiet. Meh. This is going to suck so much for the next couple of days. I must drown myself in my fanfic. Which, there will certainly be enough of that. I've gone through my fanfic folder, relegated all the hideously crappy Mary Sues I thankfully didn't devote much time to, to the Disk of Death. Which is the storage facility I use to store all the fics I haven't looked at, touched, or thought about in at least a year. And surprisingly, I have a number of fics that are completed, fan or otherwise. In the incomplete section I do have a Firefly fic I'd started but never finished, an Edward fic that will probably either get rewritten or relegated to the Disk of Death as it was largely an excuse to get Edward some hot and heavy, that old Sebastien fic, and all the fics I have currently in progress on fanfic.net. Which ends up being a lot, but only because I save every bloody version of every bloody fic I write. Never know when you might want to go back and put something back in, or ... something. Hrrm. I should do the dishes soon. I'll put them in to soak and do them in an hour. Time to print up the cattle calls. I'll have to post some of the descrips here and see if anyone has any ideas for what the hell I should do. The Most Hideous To Do List Since The Dawn Of Mankind 1. Another chapter in RiP 2. Another chapter in Shattered Globe 3. Another chapter in Understanding 4. Start that weird Wild Cards fic... there's got to be someone out there who likes it, not just me.. especially on Fanfic.net. Please? 5. 6. Edit Marry the Courtesan (which, for those of you who may not know, is a Merovingian/Persephone fic) 7. Tidy room. Later. After I get back from the bf's. 8. Work on Courtesan School 9. 10. 11. Write that goddamned essay on writing fiction set in the Victorian era for poor settiai! I'm a busy little bee... |
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Or, in the words of the Immortal Leary "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, and FUCK YOU!" I can't believe you people. I can't believe the shit you read and the shit you spout. I can't believe that this is the stuff you choose to represent what you believe, or that you have this little respect for what you write. Because make no mistake, that's the message you're sending out to those of us who actually take more than two seconds to read your fic and make sure you have the appropriate amount of sex in it. I can't believe some of you people who write non-con, bondage, kink, slash, het, yaoi, yuri, femslash, mpreg (god I hate mpreg), bdsm, yukis and semes and abusive relationship. Passive rape. Gay rape. Coercion. Emotional and physical abuse. Emotional manipulation. SHIT. If this is how you people really live your lives, I'm scared. I'm downright terrified for the future of the human race, because God knows most of you can't be over 18, possibly over 16. If you people write, believe, think you understand the crap that spews out of your fingers, your computers, your keyboards, then oh my dear sweet Goddess you people need serious mental and sexual help. You need therapy for your next three lifetimes. I'm not kidding. Now, I enjoy a good erotica fic as much as the next sexual critter, and yes I occasionally enjoy a good erotica between two consenting adults involving bdsm. I have some friends on the bdsm scene. I've even dabbled myself. I've done my homework. For those who like that sort of thing, that is the sort of thing they like. (I can't remember what movie that's from, but I remember Maggie Smith said it) I don't even mind graphic rape WHEN IT SERVES THE STORY. Let me repeat that. WHEN. IT. SERVES. THE. STORY. NOT. WHEN. IT. IS. THE. STORY. My god. You people. You have nothing in your stories but sex. And not just the normal kind of sex, oh no, you have to have the nasty-ass manipulative rapist kind of sex. The unhappy miserable dysfunctional appalling tear-jerking hand-staple-forehead angsty scar-you-for-the-rest-of-your-short-suic You people scare me. You people disgust me. Hell, I've written this crap before. I've written rape, I've written BDSM, I've written gay sex, I've written pure smut. But you know what? I actually take the time and have the self-respect to put some actual thought into the whole process. And I know lots of writers who do. And you know what? No one listens to them either. So, would someone explain this to me? Explain it to me! Explain it to me! I want it explained to me now JESUS! What the hell is this formula? That you start out with a number of readers, and your readership and reviews go down the less you have sex and the less you have angst. Never mind that maybe you were trying to hook readers in with plot. Throw out character development. Forget intelligent conversation or philosophical exploration of issues. These days if you have a fic and your characters develop more than just an interest in someone's genitalia, it's considered well-written. Goddamn. How far our standards have fallen. I'm not asking for Shakespeare here. I'm not even asking for Lady Chatterly's Lover or Justine. My god, people, the Marquis de fucking Sade had more plot and more skill than some of you. And that's saying something, I've read Justine, it's nearly as bad. But PLEASE. At least the Marquis went: Philosophy. Sex. Philosophy. Sex. Philosophy. Sex. You people write and read Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Lunch. Sex. Sex. Sex. Afternoon tea. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. And the one or two fics that don't have the sex, or don't write about the two or three characters that everyone gives a shit about (Aragorn and Legolas, or Henry Jekyll, or Harry Draco Hermione and Snape, or ...) IT DOESN'T GET READ! No one cares that maybe one of the elven archers who died in the siege of Helmsdeep might have had a family... or a personality. No one wants to hear about the trials and tribulations of Colin Creevy. No one likes or wants to listen to Dorian Gray's side of the story. I'm so sick of this. I'm so very very sick and tired of people asking when my characters are going to get to the sex, or who's going to pair off with who. GROW UP! GIVE IT UP! Or at the very least talk about something other than that, and bitch about it to each other in private. I mean, damn. This one chick had the audacity to say that I was inspired by her fic. NO, LADY. Your fic is nothing like mine. YOU have your OC and your main fanfic'd character fucking like rabbits inside of fifteen chapters. *I* have about a hundred chapters planned, thirty five written, and they'll be lucky to have two kisses in the whole damn story. But you know what? They'll have had some damn good and meaningful conversations, and if they were a real life couple they'd be the one married for sixty years and your couple would be the one getting a divorce inside of six. I know. I've watched these marriages failing. I'm watching them fail right now. Gyah. There was this one atrocity on AdultFanFiction.net where some fanfic characters who will remain nameless to protect the poor characters were written into going off on a raping spree, which seemed to turn the supposed protagonist on, as did later being dominated herself. What the hell kind of a sick message is this sending? That we should be turned on by rape? That it's okay? Back in the day I read these books by Nancy Friday. She had a good message... rape fantasies are all well and good, but no one WANTS to be raped. Except sick and twisted fanfic characters who should rightly stay in the back of people's brains. Other people READ this shit. You people are so crazed. And this is a recent phenomenon. This whole concentration on sex thing. I remember back in the original days of X-Files... and I mean way back, like first and second and third season (yes, I'm practically a dinosaur. Shut up.) everything was about the UST. For those of you who concentrate on sex and have no idea what the hell I'm talking about, that's Unresolved Sexual Tension. And I don't mean tying someone up naked to a bed and leaving them there. I'm talking about the good ol' fifties, lingering glances, tiny smiles, swaying hips kind of sexual tension. The kind that can be carried throughout a whole movie or story and climaxed in a kiss. No one has that kind of writing skill anymore. And even if they did, no one wants to read it. Now, I think I've just about ranted myself out now. And I know I'm going to get flamed for this. But you know what? I no longer give a shit. If this kind of thing doesn't improve ... I'm just going to get out of the fanfic business entirely. I'll publish my short stories, eventually my novels, and turn into the kind of writer that gets horrible bad-porn fic written about her characters. And if I see ANY of that, I will hunt you down and prosecute you to the fullest extent of the law. Not the decent fics, or even the semi-decent fics. You'll get approval. No, I'll hunt down you rape-mongers. You know who I mean. 'cause, again in the words of the Immortal Leary. "I'm an asshole, and I'm proud of it." |
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My ex just tried to interest me in an ice cube tray. It an ice cube. With a little ice spike in it where some water had dripped. ..... If this is the most exciting thing in his day... oh, never mind. I'm going to go see if April is ready to go to the store yet. |
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AKA the obligatory rant about my ex, because he expects me to have as little a life as he does. And because I'm bored. The loser brigade was over all weekend. My ex and Jen were particularly obnoxious, flirting with each other and whispering all over the place. Which is sad, considering Jen's engaged to my ex's best friend. At least, the guy whom he says is his best friend in public, and then whines about how much money the man owes him in private. I've heard him. It's highly pathetic. What's scarier is the fact that, when April first saw Jen, she couldn't tell if it was a guy or a girl. People do that, I've noticed. At least, everyone who hasn't been formally introduced to 'her' thinks she's a guy at first glance. I think she has a hormone problem, I really do. She absolutely hates being female, can't stand anyone who blatantly is... or maybe it's just that she can't stand anyone who's blatantly female and likes herself. She hates herself, I've noticed. And I think it's because of her mother, but I'm not sure. Or maybe it's just that she really does have a hormone imbalance, perhaps with other physical problems. It's kind of funny. Of all of them, she has the most issues. She's terrified of driving, of leaving the house. I don't know how she's holding down this job she kind of has. Maybe she doesn't have to come in contact with that many people. She can't get into a confrontation without bursting into tears. It's like she's overhyped or overstressed all the time. She keeps all her associations but the five or so people in that little clique online. She can't actually relate to real people. Oh well. The biggest losers in the loser brigade are her, my ex who goes stromping around in big boots like Gaston, and Rick the Suppressed Serial Killer. It's the running joke-that's-not-a-joke. He's going to turn into a serial killer one of these days. Or a spree killer. One day he's just going to snap and kill people. Bleh. I can't believe I ever was friends with them. And yet, I can. Because 500 miles from either your former home or your college home, away from all your friends and trapped in isolation by your current boyfriend who, since he's not threatening your life, looks really good by comparison... you take what you can get. Ah well. Making new friends now, though. Going out, doing things. Wossame... Chris... Mr Self-Amputee from Dayton (oh, that's a funny story. Remind me to tell you about that sometime) and Krishna and John and Brian and I might be going laser-tagging at some point, when my schedule settles down. Probably in a couple weeks. That'll be fun... I'd rather go paintballing though. Maybe I can convince John that he really wants to get hit with huge splatters of paint. You know what I think the saddest part of this whole entry is? It's an instigation. Because I know he reads it. I've seen him, when I was walking through the living room, nearly lunge across his chair to tab over so I wouldn't see him reading my DJ. As though ... I don't know. I have no privacy anymore, I really don't. And he locks everything he can so I won't pry into his life. I don't understand this behavior. Well, yeah, I do. But.. it's still pathetic. See you, space cowboy. |
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So, I had an entertaining day today at the job fair. Got a couple of seminars, yawn, and then .. oh boy. They had Air Force and Navy Reserves (the weekend warriors!) recruiters out there, one of whom knew my sailor boy from way back when. Which was kind of amusing. He teased the recruiter for a bit and then, oh joy of joys, asked how hard it would be for me to get a position as a linguist. I then promptly got told that since I had a degree I would qualify for officer candidacy, officer school, that kind of thing, and that I could become a something something involving the word crypto something interpretor translator something. Whoa. Cut. Freeze camera, hold it right there. Back the truck up. Me? Navy? CryptoTech Interpreter? Navy? Working with all that high-clearance stuff, translating transmissions? Navy? What the hell would I do in the Navy? Dumb question, since they just told me what I'd do in the Navy. But I spent the next couple hours agonizing over it. They spent a good five, ten minutes giving me the spiel and trying to recruit me. Everyone who's known me for more than a couple months knows why. For those of you who don't (as I suddenly realize that that's not that many of you out there) I speak three languages fluently, and another .. well, conversationally. Which is to say I can hold a conversation in it. Apparently this is a cherished talent in the Navy. Who knew? I don't know. On the one hand... Navy. Money. At least some money. Good stuff. Doing good... well, interesting things... *glares at just about everyone involved in the assigning and deployment of troops these days* On the other hand.. Navy. Yessir, nossir, going to obscure places and having to shoot people and get shot at for reasons I may or may not agree with. Boot camp *twitch* and getting up at 4 in the bloody morning. Running, jumping, standing still. Situps, pushups, fifteen minute meals, getting yelled at by officers. Saluting. And, oh, let's not forget Navy Blue's wonderfully amusing factoid that three female Navy recruits get raped per.. class? Whatever the grouping is. I don't know. I think I've decided not to, but damn it's still eerily tempting. White uniforms, dogbowl hats, being an officer, putting these bizarre langauges I enjoy learning to good use, being useful. Being valuable. Ah, screw it. If the recruiter calls, I'll debate it agian. Till then... I dunno. Maybe I'll just go find a teaching position somewhere. |
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Hee. Watched Lock Stock and 2 Smoking Barrels again last night. Guy Ritchie is a tiny god. So are the Jasons. I want a pair of Jasons for my court jesters. They play off of each other so very well. Had another breakdown yesterday, my third in as many days, ugh, ugh, and double ugh. Fortunately we found my birth certificate and name change certificate, so we now have proof that I exist as a citizen of this country, no matter how much I may or may not like the fact. That did much to assuage my unease about... well, a lot of job-related things. The end result being I think I've managed to get through the next 24 hours without another breakdown, go me. Reset the clock, start all over again, it's like being an alcoholic but I've managed this far. And as much as I may not want to think so, He's right. I can't give up. And I can be strong; I'm stronger than I think, sometimes. And hey, it never rains but it pours, and it can't rain all the time. Had an appointment with a temp agency today, then got a phone call when I got home from another company asking me if I could interview tomorrow afternoon. And then got a call back from the same agency asking if I could work tomorrow. So here's hoping the one company doesn't penalize me for rescheduling my interview for the next day, and here's hoping something very good comes out of this temp job. Besides money, because I know I'm going to at least get enough to finish covering the bills for the next month. I really need to get my driving license, though. At least it's a walk-in type thing and not a schedule-a-test-months-in-advance type thing. Stupid maneuverability. So, I'm doing better. Did some more work on the LXG fic that only two people are reading. BLEH. Except on fanfic.net, which.. I don't know why people on the slash community are complaining. That's apparently the only place I can get anyone to review anything I post. Oh well. At least I do have some comments. and then sometime .. tonight? Next week? I can work on some cobbled together fanart for the story. Or maybe I can save the pics to disk and actually try and make some use out of my crappy-screen laptop. It's been a while since I've had time or inclination to cobble together fanart for anything. Durble durble. As I said, watched Lock Stock yesterday. That gave me a happy for the rest of the evening. I adore the Jasons Statham and Flemyng. I think I might pick up Deep Rising on VHS soon just for Jason Flemyng with a beautiful mop of hair and sweet smile... despite the fact that he plays a snarking vicious mercenary. And I need to get The Transporter, and LXG when it comes out on DVD. And I adore Guy Ritchie, too, for being such a damn good filmmaker. And Sting! Whee! What can be better, I ask you. Wow. Watching The Rock... I never realized how much of a cluster fuck that movie became. For the characters, not the movie in general. So, not much going on, but good signs on the job horizon. Sitting here at my desk feeling full and listening to the German Rubber Ducky Techno song. And I'm going to change the damn channel because all these dead bodies and depressing soundtrack is just... bleh. I guess I'll go write some and work on some fanart. |
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( So, who am I today... ) Cheee... maybe that should tell me something. |
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League of Extraordinary Gentlemen is having an interesting effect on me. Besides inspiring me to write epic fanfic again. Why, exactly, was it necessary to dumb down the LXG team? Explain this one to me? Now, don't get me wrong, I loved the movie to bits. There's just something about the concept of a superhero... or maybe I mean superantihero... team comprised of the likes of the Invisible Man (or at least an invisible man, since they couldn't get the rights for the movie), Capt. Nemo, Tom Sawyer, Allen Quatermain, Mina Harker, Jeckyll/Hyde, and Dorian Gray. I think the ones that make me go squee the most are Dorian Gray and Allen Quatermain, who are some of the more obscure ones. But... gyah! The dumbity! Was it really necessary to give the villain such an asinine plot? Was it truely necessary to have the opponant for every supernatural creature? Couldn't they just have left it with each League member finding their own personal niche to fill in the team and leave it at that? What the hell? And why did they have to alter the legends so that it's obvious? Couldn't a little makeup have sufficed for Hyde? Did they have to turn him into the Incredible Hulk too? What worries me even now is the debate I had with Bri earlier tonight. On why they had to dumb it down... it ended up with me going, yes, I realize they have to do that so people will understand that. But why does this not upset and frustrate and anger you? It frustrates me. It frustrates me beyond telling that people these days have to have these wonderful classics.. that aren't even that long! It's not like it's a Dickensian weapon of thick paged description here! They're short, beautifully written, wonderful books... and people just don't read them! Do people even read anymore? Ugh. Given a lot of fanfic, I'd almost say not. It's just... oh my god. We are growing dumber and sadder and fatter and more brainless as a race. Or maybe just as a country... please Goddess tell me this is just an American phenomenon so I can move to France and live happily ever after. It scares me too. Am I just being an intellectual snob here? Or was the world never as intelligent as I hoped? I feel like a freak whenever thoughts like this go on too long... A freak who grew up on Poe and Wilde and Eliot. Who never knew what it was like not to have and know how to use a computer (although, my dear boyfriend, you'll have to explain to me what computers have to do with classic literature). Who had to explain her elementary school math project involving base conversion to her teachers and judges. Who went around in third grade wtih the complete works of Tolkien sticking out of her backpack. I read Dorien Gray and Stephen King's It as a child, and Dorien Gray scarred me more than King ever did. I used to memorize random Poe poems.. not just The Raven... and sing them to myself. I used to listen to Tom Lehrer, watch Shakespeare and the ballet and Gilbert and Sullivan musicals. I grew up on Pirates of Penzance, not Cutthroat Island. I never saw Smokey and the Bandit. My mother sang Spanish lullabies to me, I grew up knowing folk songs from the Andes, I went to England when I was eleven and got on better with the hotel staff in Copenhagen than... I feel like such a freak now. Like I'm on some sort of Planet Victorian England or something. Like I should be wearing corsets and bustles and fiches and hats. And taking hansoms and carrieges. Or something. Because I read Oscar Wilde as a kid. What is wrong with me? a little mood music wish i was too dead to cry a self-affliction fades stones to throw at my creator masochists to which i cater you don't need to bother i don't need to be i'll keep slipping farther but once i hold on i won't let go til it bleeds wish i was too dead to care if indeed i cared at all never had a voice to protest so you fed me shit to digest i wish i had a reason my flaws are open season for this i gave up trying one good turn deserves my dying you don't need to bother i don't need to be i'll keep slipping farther but once i hold on i won't let go till it bleeds wish i'd died instead of lived a zombie hides my face shell forgotten with its memories diaries left with cryptic entries and you don't need to bother i don't need to be i'll keep slipping farther but once i hold on i won't let go till it bleeds you don't need to bother i don't need to be i'll keep slipping farther but once i hold on i'll never live down my deceit |
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Le sigh. Bush keeps insisting that we're going to find WMDs. Right now I'm with that guy who created that error page... there just aren't any weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, goddammit! Either that or if there are they are buried so deep no one is ever going to find them again. So.. hell. Quit looking already! Admit you were wrong and give up and go on to something else! Like the economy, hint hint. Christ in a bucket. It's ironic, too, because war is supposed to be good for the economy. About the only damn thing it's good for. Stupid Bush. Oh well. Election time again, and maybe he'll get voted out in favor of someone else. I just wish there was someone else viable to put in the White House. Far as I can tell the Democrats aren't putting up much of a good front, which kind of makes me disappointed in the party. Oh well. They're still my party, for better or for worse. Silly people that they are. Here's an amusing piece of historical trivia: Did you know that the democrats used to be the republicans? And the republicans used to be... I forget what. Loyalists, probably. I'm not in much of a historical mood right now. On the plus side... cleaned up the workstation did the dishes, attempted to vacuum, and tidied up some of the living room. Now all I have to do is get some writing done. I'm in this mood because of scorn I'm in the mood for total war To the darkened skies once more And ever onward Still working on Maxi. And the urge to write Pirate slash is overwhelming. Although I think I might work some on a premise for an LXG fanfic I've thought up... and I finally have the next few chapters in a couple of my fanfics worked out (Rip, yes, April :) and Understanding). And then.. I don't know. I should flip through my unfinished section and work on some of those. Grr. Must write 10k words per day. Must get back into that habit. |
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Waiting on tenterhooks now. I hate it. Grr. Managed to get some writing done yesterday, though nowhere near as much as I wanted to. Hopefully I can get something done today, since it looks like it's going to be a quiet day. No one planning anything, no one's anything dying, no big catastrophe or melodrama. I like this life without melodrama, and yet with interesting things happening. La de da. Dru is happy. Saw League this weekend, and while it wasn't the paragon of literary homage I'd hoped it was going to be, but it was actually quite good. I very much enjoyed Flemyng's Jeckyll, Curran's Invisible Man (an Invisible Man even if it wasn't the Invisible Man), and the Capt Nemo. I also enjoyed the sets and the toys! ohhh the beauty of the Nautilus. I want that ship. And that library of Gray's. And .. hell. Most of their clothes, their toys, and Jeckyll. Oooh he was so squee. Give me time I will be clear Given time you'll understand What possesses me To right what you have suffered I'm actually in a good mood today. Talked to April last night, talked to Susie, things seem to be going well for them. Spent a relaxing weekend with Bri and Pirate!John and Krishna, going to the movies and whatnot. Saw 13 Ghosts again, and other than that did very little in the way of actual work. Go me! That was a very strange commercial for Geico, with mimes. I have this urge to get a fish again. Granted, I'll probably wait till I have a job, maybe even wait till I have my own apartment, but I have this urge to get a fish agian. And I blame it partly on April and partly on those damn cool glowy green in black light fish that freaky companies in Asia are genetically engineering. Weirder pets trhough science, making your world that much kookier. Well, as much as I don't like the implications of genetic engineering, there's just something damn cool about these glowy green fish, which I have decided to call Matrix!Fish. If I ever get some of THOSE I'm going to call them Agents. The touch... the feel... of cotton Yeah, today seems to be a day for getting things stuck in my head. Lessee.. clean house, write, walk. At some point this week I need to get back to the library, return the books I got, get some new ones. I think I'm going to like having a library card. And you know... I didn't say this last week because .. well, I just didn't take time to note it down. But there is very little more disgusting than going to throw something out and discovering (since there were only four or so items in the trash anyway) that someone has apparently taken a used condom from your bin. Can we say EEEEEEEWWW? I thought we could. What the hell kind of sick person takes a used condom out from someone's bin? Apart from Alicia Silverstone in The Crush, which completely squicked me out. Just like this completely squicked me out. I dunno. I realize people have to do things to... I don't know. Emotionally satisfy them? But... eeewww. Gross. Nasty. Foul, disgusting, and wretched. I don't know. Maybe I either need to keep the trashcan more filled so I don't notice or put a lock on my door so people can't keep rifling through my stuff. It's just... ugh. Talk about invasion of privacy, not to mention sick and demeneted and depraved and... yech. Trying to forget it now. Trying to forget... Okay. Goign to the bathroom, soaping up my face since I seem to be having an attack of oily. Quaff the orange juice, clean up my workstation, vacuum all this weird nameless fuzz from the floor. I swear, you'd think we have a dog in here. I don't know what it is... hair, probably, but whether it's mine or my roommate's is anyone's guess. C'est la vie. Do the damn dishes. Probably do that before I vacuum. Okay. Time to put some music on and get going. In the words of Eddie Izzard... Ciaaaaoooo! |
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1. April, to co-queen. 2. Barbossa 3. Jack Sparrow. Because he's Captain Jack Sparrow, although he'll have to settle for being cabin boy *eyebrow waggle* 4. Will Turner 5. Willard 6. Roland the Gunslinger 7. Eddie Because you can't have Roland without Eddie 8, 9, 10. Agents Smith, Brown, and Jones, for infalliable navigation. 11. the Twins 12. The Abbe of Charenton. 13. Richard Mayhew 14. The Marquis de Carabas For his rapier wit, and to protect Richard, the Weasleys, and Willard 15. Assorted Weasleys 16. Steerpike. 17. Chiron and Demitrius 18. Remus Lupin 19. Lucius Malfoy and Draco Because Draco needs the education Chee. Well, I got some stuff done today. Got the beginnings of the Courtesan School up and running, now all I need are some co-writers, some other people to give advice and help out. Ran 1.5 miles, did some situps, the usual exercise routine. Mostly, though, I've been working on courtesan school today. Hopefully I'll get some more of that done tonight, right now 'tis lunchtime. Pirates of the Carribean was great fun yesterday. ( Some of my favorite moments ) Afterwards we went to this restaurant called Grindstone Charley's... not bad, all things considered. I got a small bowl of soup and a salad, as I wasn't really feeling hungry. Still craving an oriental chicken wrap from Applebee's, though. John nearly fell asleep towards the end of dinner, so we all trooped on home. All in all, it was a fairly uneventful and yet fun day. Ooh. A quiz.  You are Tonks. You rock my mittens. Which Chick from Order of the Phoenix Are You? (Spoilers) brought to you by Quizilla That amuses me. As much as Tonks annoyed me, that amuses me. Let's see, what else has been happening. Oh yes. Having a crisis of weight. (Crisis of faith?) While, granted, I've managed to lose about five pounds and keep it off, which is the bigger miracle... I just don't know. Still can't fit into my leather pants, which really bothers me. And ... well, let's just say someone made a less than tactful comment yesterday. I don't know why I'm worrying so much about it, except that it was probably that less than tactful comment. I'm pretty much fine, I'm not unhealthy, I'm not really overweight. I can see my feet :p I'm not a butterball. But... argh. I don't know. Why am I so insecure? This is bothering me. Bleh. Okay, so OTHER than all that, life is pretty good. Time to get writing done, I guess. Or take a shower, since I'm all sweaty. Except that my roommate's been in the bathroom for the last... forty minutes? Ugh. I want a shower, dammit! I can feel the sweat drying on my body. Yick. Oh well. Back to writing, I guess. |
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I have tiny feet. So, I was actually somewhat productive today. Went out running since I've been afraid of the heat for the past few days, and with the lion scare it's been pretty much hide in the house. The lion, by the way, has been deemed nonexistant. Damnit. Also did about a hundred situps and a passel of pushups, nearly causing myself to retch from the strain, but hey. Now if I can just keep this up for several weeks I might actually be in shape. Wish me luck, folks. I have an interview coming up that could be a sure thing, or it could be a sure bust. And this whole not knowing thing is killing me. I kind of wish Bri hadn't said what he had... well, done is done, and there's no undoing. Or unknowing. I just hope something comes out of this. Otherwise.. bleh. I need to get back into the habit of writing my 10,000 words per day. I'm not sure how and I'm not sure why, but I do. I used to be able to do it... okay, really, I used to be able to do 7,000 words per day. But I need to get back in the damn habit. I've been such a slacker lately. Although the story-finishing spree was quite useful. Gave me at least a bit of a feeling of accomplishment. I think the problem now will be to figure out what to do with half the novels and novellas I've written and never finished. I think I'll start with Maxi. Pfui. Other than that, life is singularly uneventful. We've got Pirates of the Carribean (yay Johnny and Geoffrey!) tomorrow, LXG on Friday (yay Jason!), and Palladium shortly after that. Business as usual. I need to go grocery shopping, get milk and juice and do something about that lemonade that may or may not still be good. All these mundane little tasks. Ah well. Okay. So for today's 10,000 words I need to do: 1. Another chapter (or two) in Understanding 2. Some in Strange New World 3. Some in Ghosts 4. Some in random spaceport fic That's roughly 2,500 words each story... I think I can manage that. 10:00 pm update Okay. Went to grocery store... got milk, OJ, and puddin! Yay pudding. I dont' know why I had this sudden craving for pudding, I just did. And lucky for me, instead of the powder packs like I'd originally wanted they had little tiny snackpacks, which means I don't pig out on pudding like I probably would have done. Go me! Damn. This chocolate made me hyper. Of course I had to have the chocolate one first. Must settle down to write now. |
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April's on!!! Woo-hoo! I need to get motivated... I need to get writing. Problem is, now I'm not sure what to write. I want to work on some novels, but I know I'm never going to finish them in one night and I'm not sure I have the energy to start something like that. The weekend was good. Got some stuff done for the Werewolf game, went to the Fourth of July bash at Brad's and actually got to set off some fireworks, despite the torrential rain and lightning. The power went out all around the neighborhood, which was kind of exciting, and everyone else left because of the rain so eventually it was just us gamers down in the basement playing Star Wars. Which, they got into a fight again. I'm still not sure what to do about the damn thing. Grr. Still no idea what to write. Maybe something will come to me. |
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It's flashback day here at the apartment. Namely, I found an old CD of mp3s I'd burned a long long time ago, in a galaxy far far away. Mostly movie soundtracks, but there's some entertaining pop songs I didn't download or couldn't find lately. Placebo, Green Jelly, that sort of thing. I'd forgotten how absolutely hilarious the Bear song could be. Somebody get that cabbage a haircut! Finished my Looshy fic, got some suggestions for people for Understanding, and largely cleared out my story folder of half-finished short stories. Go me! Now all I need to do is clear it out of half-finished novellas. That's going to be a bit harder, I think. I've got ... I don't know. Lots. Like, ten of them. And a bunch more untitled blobs that I'm not sure what they're going to turn into, novellas, short stories, novels, who knows. I really do need to e-mail my aunt and ask her about Lisa. I need to start kicking ass on this not-just-short-story-but-novels thing. Today promises to be a good day, though. A trip to Comic Book World to take advantage of their Fourth of July sale, and a cookout and fireworks at.. someone's house. John's, Bri's... not mine, because Rob's usual gang is over. I need to do dishes, which.. bleh. But if any of my books turn up missing at the end of it, heads are going to roll. And not the ones on the shoulders. Then again, no one's taken anything of consequence, so ... eh. I vacillate between being annoyed and not caring. Sucker love is heaven sent you Pucker up our passion's spent No word anymore on the damn lion that's prevented me from running evenings. Stupid lion. Apparently it was sighted in the field about... mmmmmm. A quarter mile outside the apartment complex. So, of course, Bri gets all worried and asks me not to run, which is sensible, really, but... ugh I want to go running. Oh well, I'll go running at Bri's house this weekend, and there won't be any lions 'cause it doesn't have as many fields as the apartment does. Mua ha ha ha ha. But, le sigh, I do have to call and see if I have jury duty on Monday. Stupid jury duty. But wait! I only had to call till.. what was it, July 11th? So it's almost over! Yay! Granted, I don't begrudge doing my civic duty, etc etc, but it's so damn boring! Blah. Really, I'm just babbling right now... waiting for Bri to come over. I should get off my ass and do the dishes... probably what I will do. Should have done them last night, but I just couldn't keep my eyes open for some reason. Ah well. Life is exceedingly good. Yay. |
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Today started out evil. I got up, I stumbled over to the computer and banged out another chapter of Understanding, worked some more on some original fiction. And then Brian comes over with the news of doom. Well, okay. I should know damn well by now that getting my hopes up does absolutely no good. I went to the Target place. I filled out the application, got an interview (which some of the people there didn't get, so that's something)... and then today Brian shows up with the news that when he went back to fill out the application they told him all the positions had been filled. Now that was like a swift kick to my nonexistant jumblies. I spent the next half hour in a good cry, with poor Brian trying to pull me out of it. Talk about sucknuts. It ended in due course of time, because of course Brian can always make me feel better. Wonderful man, he is. He always makes me feel happy when I'm depressed. Which, given my tendency/history of depression, is a good thing. So we flipped through more job newspapers and circled more numbers and made a note to call them on a day that wasn't the day before a holiday. Then we went out for lunch. Had some chinese food, came back, buggered around. I finally convinced him to let me write for a couple hours while he gathered everyone together for the evening's festivities... it's funny. He maintains the optimistic view that getting the J and B crew together (that is to say, Jim, Joe, John, and Brad) is remotely easy and accomplished quickly. I maintain that it's like herding cats. So anyway, after about three hours (not two, which, he left at four and I said I'd be ready at six and it still took another hour and a half or so) we finally got together with John and went off to see Sinbad. ( The Adventures of Sinbad and the Giant... ) And after the movie the cutest thing happened. We were discussing the movie, how much everyone was like our characters in Brian's Palladium game. Especially Jame and Eisen. But afterwards we were discussing where to eat lunch, and Bri mentioned the Old Spaghetti Factory. And then I mentioned my favorite dish to date, although my enthusiasm pales next to that of John's. I mentioned the word 'mizithra' and he sort of... exploded. Like an excitable anime character. Brian said later in the car when I was still recovering from that bout of .. whatever.. that he hadn't seen John that excited in a long time. It was hilarious. And we sat and talked for a couple hours. John couldn't believe I hadn't seen Cutthroat Island. Again. Bri expressed disbelief that I ordered something other than the mizithra pasta, and I teased them both about being old fogeys when they talked about seeing Star Wars and the Terminator movies in the theatre. Grand old time. And I finally got their oreo shake, which proved to have more chocolate and vanilla ice cream than actual oreo. The downside to this is that I got food coma. So, here I am, and trying to stay awake so I don't do the eat-thud-sleep thing. It's been a relatively good day. |
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 You represent... hope. You're quite a daydreamer and can be a hopeless romantic. You enjoy being creative and don't mind being alone at times. You have goals, and know what you want in life... even if they are a little far fetched. What feeling do you represent? brought to you by Quizilla Cute. *amused* Well, I got three out of five of my stories finished, which brings up a total of... hrr. I finished two yesterday. Five stories finished! Which is damn good, considering I also started one yesterday and just about finished it today. Still need to figure out if I want to keep the originally planned ending or leave it where it fell. BUrble burble burble. Still not much happening today... tonight, as it now is. I missed the TNT Caeser rerun. Oh well. Maybe they'll put it back on again, or maybe not. Somehow I can't bring myself to care anymore. Although it would have been highly entertaining to see the likes of Chris Noth and Christopher Walken as Roman senators and soldiers and whatnot, the previews sort of sucked all the joy out of the movie. La de da. My legs hurt from sitting so cramped up all evening. I should go out and run while it's dark and relatively cool out. Especially with the whole West Nile scare thing, and everyone saying to avoid bodies of water near dawn and dusk. Pfui on that, but it is more pleasant to walk during the day or evening, when the gnats aren't out. Stupid gnats. And stupid geese, too. I think I'll go running before I go to bed tonight, though. I'm getting more wind, which is always good. And maybe then I can wear my pants. Argh. Leg hurty. Actually, I did something else that might be productive of some good today, I think. I flipped through some of my old sketches... from the vantage point of not working on them for hours only to have them turn out not how I wanted, they're actually not that bad. I might even finish them one of these days. I swear, art for me is ten times worse than writing. Stupid art. More babble. Babel? L'enfer, c'est les autres. Pfui. I should dig up my old copy of Huis Clos, though, because suddenly I have an urge to read that. I think it has something to do with all this Lucius fic. He's exactly the sort of person I can see in the male role in that play, as G-----. Yes, I forgot his name. Either way.... j'ai besoin d'une livre de philosophie. Merde. And a little Sartre would really hit the spot right about now, bring back happy memories. Which is ironic because most of his philosophy is anything but happy. A friend in need's a friend indeed a friend who bleeds is better A friend with breasts and all the rest a friend who's dressed in leather Sinbad this weekend with John. Who started reminding me of John the Bonk earlier today when I was banging out an e-mail home. I wonder whatever happened with John the Bonk and the rest of the dogs. And Zippy! Good gods. I wonder what happened to Zippy, the dear dear man. I used to have such a crush on him. And it's funny because I can remember that, but I can't remember what he looked like except that he was pale and blonde. I also remember he got married several years back, but I haven't seen him since I was a little girl. Funny the things you remember apropos of nothing. And John will henceforth be known as Pirate!John. Why? I don't know. Because I can't think of pirate movies or books without thinking 'Look, John! Pirates!' I swear, the boy's more obssessive than I get sometimes. Silly creature. Well, it'll be good if I can get up there this weekend, as I need to hash out a Werewolf character with him. Come to think of it, why do I call him a boy when he's nearly ten years older than I am? Why do I call anyone anything? Oh well. Yeah, that's more than enough inane babble for tonight. My thoughts aren't really big enough to make up an entire entry, so I guess I just squished them all together. Oh well. A bientot |
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In a move that should have been made months if not a year ago, I finally have a library card. Mua ha ha ha ha! Bri, kind soul that he is, took me by the library and we got me a card, and I got out a couple books on France and Italy and a book on the wives of Henry the Eighth. Not that I need that last part, but it'll make for entertaining reading. I'm definitely going to like having a library card, it's been a while since I've done the library thing. Went around and made the rounds of a bunch of places again today. More applications, and probably more rejections. I swear, I've been rejected for a job more times than I've been rejected for publication by about a factor of ten. It's kind of funny when you think about it. The figures are supposed to be reversed. Still need to finish up a bunch of stories. Here's the list... 1. 2. 3. Necropolis (formerly Necromancer) 4. Twilight Prey 5. Other than that it's been pretty uneventful. I need to go running too.. mm. And turn on the AC because I'm sweltering in here. It's got to be.. 80 degrees or so. I swear, if my roommate would just turn off his damn computer once in a while it'd be a) cooler and b) less expensive on electricity. Oh well. Hrrm. Crossword puzzles and then story. Lucius, here I come! Luscious Lucius. Mmm.. |
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| ( The Interview Meme ) | ||
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Ho-yay! I finally finished the first segment in the Julian/Jones fic, go me. Posted it for International Slash day. Now all I need to do is figure out what else to do/write. Maybe another chapter in Understanding or something. Or I could finish the damn slash story I was writing yesterday, or edit Marry the Courtesan. Ugh. Too much to do and not enough time to do it in. And I need to call Ultimate Staffing and figure out what's up with that. Okay, that's done. I think today's going to be 'finish all the damned short stories I never finished' day. I have one of those roughly every few months. Lately I've been letting them pile up more than usual. I'm going to have to come up with something really inspired for this, but hey. I suppose inspiration is what I do. Stories to finish: 1. Alys 2. Sangremancer 3. Necromance 4. 5. Twilight Prey 6. I'm also torn between deleting the stories I know I'm never going to finish and turning them over to other people and just keeping them on my hard drive. I've got at least three or four I know I'm never going to finish. I just don't know what to do with them. I don't want them to die, but ... they're just taking up space and making me think I have more stories to finish than I actaully intend to. Ah well. I'll come up with something. And those five are certainly enough to deal with for today. 5.06 PM Added a couple more stories and finished only one. Le sigh. I need to find something to do with the story fragments I keep coming up with. Maybe I'll post them in my story journal for people to read and comment on.. or something. I don't know. I'm sure there's something I can do with them, if only I can just think of what. Same goes for the stories I'm never going to finish. Bleh. And in other sucky news, no sewing job for Dru. Apparently I'm either overqualified or don't have the industrial sewing experience they wanted. Dammit. Back to square one. I hate that. Okay, there. I've started to post some of the story fragments here so people can read and comment and tell me what to do with them. Amusingly enough I've also found the Richard III fanfic Fiona and I started ages ago, so I think I'll shape that up and post it... le sigh. |
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Today was a good day. Resting, relaxing, ice cream and fruit rollups. Bri and I talked a lot last night, and we got a lot of stuff sorted out. Much ice cream and talking and staying up till 5 am. But, hey, as long as it gets the issue resolved. No sappy details here, though. And Brian, being the wonderfully considerate man that he is, bought me Order of the Phoenix! Yaaaayyyyyyy! I hasten to note that this is not an apology book, he bought it for me before all the crap hit the rotating blades. He went out to a bookstore and hung around there while i did the job application thing... and then he led me back to the car and said I had to close my eyes and put the book in my hands and it was Harry Potter! Yay. :) There's not going to be much more to this entry. I saw The Transporter and renewed my belief that Jason Statham is one hell of a funny guy. And discovered that he's also rather badass in his own right. Who knew? To me he'll always be the mouthy street Brit from Lock Stock and Snatch. MOVIES! Not bondage and women. And I learned (looking up things for LXG) that Jason Flemyng speaks French. Who knew. Anyway. The point of this entry: I'm better now. NOt completely all better better, but things are a lot calmer. You don't fix issues like that in one night, but we made a giant leap forwards. Talking always helps. And I'm not quite so nuts about it... I got a lot of the anger and frustration out. I still need to find/see/talk to some female friends. I still need to visit everyone!!! I need a job first, but hey. But things got talked through, and things are much better again. Besides, relaxing all day and watching pointless silly violent movies helped. So, here I am, on the road again. More later, I think it's time for Formula 51. Yay is for Sam Jackson in a kilt! |
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DeadJournal for Drucilla.
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busy.
bitchy.
annoyed.
confused.
hopeful.
lonely.
determined.
happy.
accomplished.
pensive.
good.
calm.